"2 years ago, I went to Barcelona with my colleague who is almost my friend. We visited Gaudi's architectures, And enjoyed to sunbath and seebath at Barcelonata beach. At night we went to dance clubs which are along the coastline. So many international people were there. But our best memorable thing is we watched FC Barcelona soccer game at Camp Nou Stadium! I watched Messi in reality. That was opening game of season, and FC Barcelona Won 5-0."

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2 years ago, I went to Barcelona with my colleague who is almost my friend. We visited Gaudi's architectures, And enjoyed to sunbath and seebath at Barcelonata beach. At night we went to dance clubs which are along the coastline. So many international people were there. But our best memorable thing is we watched FC Barcelona soccer game at Camp Nou Stadium! I watched Messi in reality. That was opening game of season, and FC Barcelona Won 5-0.

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Two years ago, I went to Barcelona with my colleague who is also a friend of mine. We visited Gaudi's architecture and enjoyed to sunbathe and sea bath in Barceloneta beach. At night, we went to dance clubs along the coastline where a lot of foreign people hang out. The most memorable thing about our trip was when we watched FC Barcelona soccer game at Camp Nou Stadium. I saw how Messi played in person. That was the opening game of the seaon, and FC Barcelona won with a score of 5-0.

Notes:
Blue - additional and better expressions
Red - spelling, punctuation and capitalization
Green - prepositions and pronouns
Yellow - word usage
Pink - verb tenses

Sunbath (n.) - deliberate exposure of the body to the direct rays of the sun.
Sunbathe (v.) - to take a sunbath.

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Hi Mr. Won,

It seems like you really enjoyed your trip in Barcelona. Your composition was impressive. You were doing good in delivering your thoughts. Keep up the good work! Be friendly with your dictionary to learn more English words and enrich your word bank. Study hard. Have a lovely day!

Love,
Teacher Angel

"Good, better, best. Never let it rest 'till your good is better and your better is best!"