"About 5 years ago, I went to watch one musical named 'Mamamia'. I enjoyed the musical with my ex-girl friend. The stroy was like this. The back ground is ealry 19's in greece Mediterranean sea. One girl has tried to find real mom. While in search of her mom, she falls in love in and be aware of the secret of her birth. The Sounds of performance were so bright and beat-up that I could concentrate on the show. During watching the musical, I talked to my ex-girl friend lovely. After coming home, my brother told me that his friend was next to me. I was so surpried, shy and ashamed because our couple was in love-mode. Anyway I really enjoyed the musical which is one of the most famous all throughout."

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About 5 years ago, I went to watch one musical named 'Mamamia'. I enjoyed the musical with my ex-girl friend. The stroy was like this. The back ground is ealry 19's in greece Mediterranean sea. One girl has tried to find real mom. While in search of her mom, she falls in love in and be aware of the secret of her birth. The Sounds of performance were so bright and beat-up that I could concentrate on the show. During watching the musical, I talked to my ex-girl friend lovely. After coming home, my brother told me that his friend was next to me. I was so surpried, shy and ashamed because our couple was in love-mode. Anyway I really enjoyed the musical which is one of the most famous all throughout.

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About 5 years ago, I watched a musical called "Mama Mia". I enjoyed the musical with my ex-girlfriend. The story's setting was in early 90's in Greece's Mediterranean Sea. One girl has tried to find her real mom. While in search of her mom, she fell in love with a guy and was able to find out the secret of her birth. The music was so bright and upbeat that I could concentrate only on the show. While watching the musical, I had a lovely conversation with my ex-girlfriend. When I arrived home, my brother told me that his friend was sitting next to me. I was so surpried, shy and ashamed because I was having a romantic moment with my girlfriend. Anyway, I really enjoyed the musical which is one of the most famous musicals all throughout the world.

Note:
Blue - additionals and better expressions
Red - spelling, punctuations and capitalization
Green - sentence structure
Pink - word usage
Yellow - verb tenses

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Hi Mr. Won,

I really appreciate a lot your effort to share things with me. Though some of your experiences were quite embarassing, you still managed to put them into your compositions. Take note of my corrections all the time. I know that we still have a long way to go but I do believe you have the pursuit of enhancing your skills. I know it is not an easy task but I truly believe in you. You can do it! ^_^

Love,
Teacher Angel