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제목 My Work, My Company 등록일 2014-10-17
내용 [My Work]
The company I work for SDS.
It is located in Jamsil of seoul. It takes about one hour from my house.
Our company provides IT service to customers.
We listen to what they want and what is problem.
Then we construct architecture to solve the problem.
We develop, provide and maintain IT service.
I think SDS is the No.1 IT Company in Korea.
SDS is good at outsourcing but we don’t have uniqueness of technology.
We need to prepare our own technologies to grow global company.

[My Company]
SDS is founded 1985.
When SDS was founded I was just in elementary school.
But I knew what is first popular product in our company.
That is Unitel. It is portal service.
There I can check my email, read news, write a text on the forums.
Our company’s vision is global No. 1 IT service.
Our catchphrase is “smart answer”
When our customer asked something, We’ll give a smart answer to solve the problem.
담당강사 Audrey 등록일 2014-10-20
첨삭 내용

James,


Merry Monday! Well, I was really surprised when I saw your message here but I am also happy that you sent me a message even if you are quite busy with work. So, thank you so much. However, I would like to advice you to write messages from Monday to Thursday, so that I can easily reply to them within 24 hours. And I would not advice you to write messages on Fridays because there is a big chance that I won't be able to see them before I leave the office and I might not be able to check my homepage on weekends. Though, I truly admire the effort that you are putting in class. I can't thank you enough for that.

On the other hand, I am really amazed with your company and I know that it is not impossible for Samsung Electronics and Samsung SDS to be at the top when it comes to IT service. Well, I think I'm writting so many things again and you might be busy with work so I'll end this message now.  So, I'll talk to you again in class!^^, Take care! 

P.S. James, I noted some corrections with your sentences and you can check them below this message. I truly can't wait to hear your voice and answers later. See you!^^,


Lots of love,
Audrey.

 

 

=============================================================================
Corrections:

[My Work] The company I work for SDS.
>> The company that I am working for is Samsung SDS.

 It is located in Jamsil of seoul. 
>> It is located in Jamsil, Seoul. 

It takes about one hour from my house. 
>> It is an hour away from my house.

Our company provides IT service to customers.
>> Correct.

 We listen to what they want and what is problem.
>> We give solution to their problems and listen to their needs.

Then we construct architecture to solve the problem.
>> So, we provide an excellent and quality service.

 We develop, provide and maintain IT service.
>> In addition, we also develop and maintain good IT service.

 I think SDS is the No.1 IT Company in Korea. 
>> I honestly think that SDS is the No. 1 IT Company in Korea.

SDS is good at outsourcing but we don’t have uniqueness of technology. 
>> SDS is good at outsourcing but we lack competitiveness when it comes to developing technology.

We need to prepare our own technologies to grow global company. 
>> We need to think and produce our own unique technilogies for international market.

[My Company] SDS is founded 1985. 
>> On the other hand, I'll tell you about the history of my company. SDS is founded way back  in 1985.

When SDS was founded I was just in elementary school. 
>> I was just in elementary school during that time.

But I knew what is first popular product in our company. That is Unitel.
>>  But I can already remember the most popular product in SDS and that is Unitel.

 It is portal service. There I can check my email, read news, write a text on the forums. 
>> It was a portal service where you can check e-mails, read news and write text on forums.

Our company’s vision is global No. 1 IT service. 
>> By the way, our company's vision is to become the No. 1 It service in the world.

Our catchphrase is “smart answer” When our customer asked something, We’ll give a smart answer to solve the problem.
>> Our company's catchphrase is 'Smart Answer'. We give the best possible answer to the customer's concern.

***********Hey! Thanks a lot for introducing your company to me!^^, I really did appreciate it!

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