I like to play soccer. Actually I didn’t like playing soccer before military service. When I was in military service, I played soccer on weekends. I first dislike playing soccer but as time went by, I more and more liked it. Playing soccer is a little dangerous than other game but it is several benefits. First, playing soccer can blow my stress. Second, it makes me relaxed Third, it is a good way to bond with my friends Last but not least, it makes me healthy.

1. I like to play soccer. Good job on this! :-)

2. Actually I didn’t like playing soccer before military service. -> But I actually didn't like playing soccer until I took the military service.

3. When I was in military service, I played soccer on weekends. Good job on this! :-)

4. I first dislike playing soccer but as time went by, I more and more liked it.- I first dislike playing soccer but as time went by, I liked it more.

5. Playing soccer is a little dangerous than other game but it is several benefits. -> Playing soccer is a little dangerous than other games but it has several benefits.

6. First, playing soccer can blow my stress. ->  First, playing soccer can relieve my stress.

7. Second, it makes me relaxed Good job on this :-)

8. Third, it is a good way to bond with my friends. Good job on this :-)

9. Last but not least, it makes me healthy. Good job on this :-)

Hi!

You did a good job in composing sentences, you have improved a lot. But like what I've mentioned before, be careful when you use verbs and pronouns in sentences. Keep up the good work! :-)

Lovely