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| 제목 | city life3 | 등록일 | 2014-12-12 |
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| 내용 | I did several things last weekend with my wife. First, I went to furniture stores to buy a small bed or a couch for my baby who would be born next year. My wife and I got around four or five furniture stores but I couldn't buy it because we didn't decide to buy what furniture and all furniture that I wanted was very expensive. Second, I went to lotte department to apply after-service as I had a little problem. The problem is that my back pack was sliding down on my shoulder during I was walking. Lastly, I visit the grocery store to buy vegetables, fruits, seafood, some bread and so on for dinner. We went out in the morning and came back home in the evening after we did all things. Korea is very cold today. When I got off from work, my neighborhood was snowing. Since then it still has been snowing My neighborhood is covered with snow and it is blowing a lot wind |
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| 담당강사 | Lovely | 등록일 | 2014-12-16 |
| 첨삭 내용 | I did several things last weekend with my wife. First, I went to furniture stores to buy a small bed or a couch for my baby who would be born next year. My wife and I got around four or five furniture stores but I couldn't buy it because we didn't decide to buy what furniture and all furniture that I wanted was very expensive. Second, I went to lotte department to apply after-service as I had a little problem. The problem is that my back pack was sliding down on my shoulder during I was walking. Lastly, I visit the grocery store to buy vegetables, fruits, seafood, some bread and so on for dinner. We went out in the morning and came back home in the evening after we did all things. Korea is very cold today. When I got off from work, my neighborhood was snowing. Since then it still has been snowing My neighborhood is covered with snow and it is blowing a lot wind. 1. I did several things last weekend with my wife. GOOD JOB! 2. First, I went to furniture stores to buy a small bed or a couch for my baby who would be born next year. -> First, I went to furniture stores to buy a small bed or a couch for my baby who will be born next year. 3. My wife and I got around four or five furniture stores but I couldn't buy it because we didn't decide to buy what furniture and all furniture that I wanted was very expensive. -> My wife and I got around four or five furniture stores but I couldn't buy it because we haven't decided yet of what furniture to buy and all furniture that I wanted was very expensive. 4. Second, I went to lotte department to apply after-service as I had a little problem. GOOD JOB! 5. The problem is that my back pack was sliding down on my shoulder during I was walking. -> The problem is that my back pack was sliding down on my shoulder when I was walking. 6. Lastly, I visit the grocery store to buy vegetables, fruits, seafood, some bread and so on for dinner. GOOD JOB! 7. We went out in the morning and came back home in the evening after we did all things. GOOD JOB! 8. Korea is very cold today. GOOD JOB! 9. When I got off from work, my neighborhood was snowing. GOOD JOB!
Hi Kent! You did a godo job in expressing your thoughts in a composition, you also have less errors this time, keep up the good work! :-) Lovely
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