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제목 My hobby is watching movies. 등록일 2015-01-06
내용 I like watching movies.
Last Month, My wife and I went to theater to watch "Interstella".
Someone said that we should watch the movie at I-MAX theater,
I reserved I-MAX theater playing "Interstella".
It was great experience seeing space and stars through very wide screen.
We really enjoyed it.
담당강사 Wynston1 등록일 2015-01-07
첨삭 내용

I like watching movies. Last Month, My wife and I went to theater to watch "Interstella". Someone said that we should watch the movie at I-MAX theater, I reserved I-MAX theater playing "Interstella". It was great experience seeing space and stars through very wide screen. We really enjoyed it.

 

"I LIKE WATCHING MOVIES.  LAST MONTH SOMEONE SUGGESTED THAT WE WATCH THE MOVIE "INTERSTELAR" AT THE I-MAX THEATER, SO I I RESERVED A SEAT FOR MY WIFE AND I.  IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE SEEING SPACE AND STARS ON A WIDE THEATER SCREEN, PARTICULARLY WITH ALL THE SOUND EFFECTS.  WE REALLY ENJOYED IT."

 

*** CLARK, AS YOU GRADUALLY DEVELOP YOUR WRITING SKILLS, YOU WILL VALUE THE NECESSITY OF NOT REPEATING CERTAIN WORDS OVER AND OVER.  NOTICE HOW THE SENTENCES HAVE BEEN RESTRUCTURED FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE READER AND/OR LISTENER.  OVERALL, YOUR INTENT AND IDEAS ARE SOUND.  ALL I DID WAS RE-ARRANGE SOME WORDS AND PHRASES FOR GRAMMATICAL EFFECT.

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