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제목 The Advantage and Disadvantage of the Middle Asian Democratization 등록일 2014-05-22
내용 Nowdays, Middle Asian countries changed their own leaders. In the process, USA intervened and contributed to the democratization of them. These area was famous for frequent wars in the past, but is recovering the peace nowdays. It is related to the democratization of these area.
Middle Asia supplies more than 50% of the oil globally, and the peace of these area result to the stable price of the oil. Finally, it leads to the positive condition of global economy.

However, new governments of these countries were made in the support of the USA, so it is expected to be influenced by USA capital as a result. USA will obtain oil in the low price and USA companies will expand its biz-territories to these area. In case of Saudi Arabia, most people lost their language and use English for their common word. That is, this country is actually governed by American capitals and systems.
담당강사 Jasmine1 등록일 2014-05-23
첨삭 내용

Nowdays, Middle Asian countries changed their own leaders. In the process, the USA intervened and contributed to the democratization of them. These This area was famous for frequent wars in the past, but is recovering the peacefully nowdays. It is related to the democratization of these this area. Middle Asia supplies more than 50% of the oil globally, and the peace of these this area results in to the stable price of the oil. Finally, it leads to the positive condition of the global economy. However, new governments of these countries were made in with the support of the USA, so it is expected to be influenced by USA capital as a result. The USA will obtain oil in the  at a low price and USA companies will expand its their biz-territories to these this area. In case of Saudi Arabia In Saudi Arabia's case, most people lost their language and use English for their common words. That is, this country is actually governed by American capitals and systems.

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These is for plurals
-This area, these countries
 

USA typically isn't used as an adj, We would use "American", although I didn't mark this in your writing.

Good job! I think you wrote a really solid, factual piece of work due to your work I assume. Have a fun weekend, James!

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