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제목 | Self Introduction | 등록일 | 2014-06-08 |
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내용 | hello, my name is kim jinsu. i’m 30 years old(i’m in my early 30’s-thirties) I have been working at samsung SDS in system integration department since 2011. as a web program engineer, I have been operating the national electronic procurement system for 2 years. I like my job for now, but I really want to do is run my own business. so I put effort into learning about management and other languages. i’m an outgoing person who has a positive attitude. I also have a good sense of humor. so I often hear people call me interesting(funny) in my spare(free) time, I like to watch movies. |
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담당강사 | Don | 등록일 | 2014-06-10 |
첨삭 내용 | hello, my name is kim jinsu. -> Hello! My name is Kim Jinsu. (Make sure to start your sentences and your name with CAPITAL LETTERS.) i’m 30 years old(i’m in my early 30’s-thirties) I have been working at samsung SDS in system integration department since 2011. -> I am 30 years old. (I'm in my early 30's.) I have been working at Samsung SDS in the system integration departmetn since 2001. (You can remove the word "thirties" since you already have the number. as a web program engineer, I have been operating the national electronic procurement system for 2 years. -> As a web engineer, I have been operating the national electronic procurement system for 2 years. (Capital letter in starting your sentences.) I like my job for now, but I really want to do is run my own business. so I put effort into learning about management and other languages. -> I like my job for now but I really want to run my own business, so I put effort into learning management and other languages. (Use a comma instead of a period before the word "so".) i’m an outgoing person who has a positive attitude. -> I'm an outgoing person who has a positive attitude. (Capital letter in starting your sentences.) I also have a good sense of humor. so I often hear people call me interesting(funny) in my spare(free) time, I like to watch movies. -> I also have a good sense of humor, so I often hear people call me interesting (funny). In my spare (free) time, I like to watch movies. (Capital letter in starting your sentences. Use period instead of comma after the word funny since your will be talking about a different topic. ) |