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제목 Marriage with other national 등록일 2014-06-19
내용 I have not thought about the marriage with a foreigner, and never want to do. I am not good at listening and expressing in foreign language, so marriage life with other national seems to be inconvenient. Additionally, it is difficult to accept having my baby whose skin or hair color is different from me.

However, my children's life is not mine, and I respect for their decision. If he or she wants to get married with a foreigner, I'll accept that. In the future, our society will be more globalized and marriage between other national couples will increase. These trend will make the life of foreign people more convenient and that will affect my opinion.
담당강사 Jasmine1 등록일 2014-06-20
첨삭 내용

I have not thought about the marriage with a foreigner, and never want to do that. I am not good at listening and expressing myself in foreign language, so marriage life with another nationality seems to be inconvenient. Additionally, it is would be difficult to accept having my baby whose skin or hair color is different from me.

However, my children's life is not mine, and I respect for their decision. If he or she wants to get married with to a foreigner, I'll accept that. In the future, our society will be more globalized and marriage between other nationality couples will increase. These This trend will make the life of foreign people more convenient and that will affect my opinion.

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Not a bad piece of work overall. You're quit good at expressing yourself in English though. You were right about it being inconvienent. Biracial relationships come with an extra, problematic dimension, but it's worth it for some couples. Personally, I love the idea of my babies speaking 2 languages. Although, I am disappointed they'll all have brown eyes. I have green eyes and would love a baby with green or blue eyes. But this is a small compromise compared to the benefits they'll have when they're older.

1) Nationality is the noun for ethnicity. National is an adj such as the national anthem or a national holiday
2) Use "would be" because this is a hypothetical situation. Obviously, you're not planning on marrying a foreigner, so we don't need to use realistic grammar like "When I marry a foreigner, it will be difficult"
3) Married TO not "with"
4) He or she: This is a relatively new thing in English due to the rise in women in society. The traditional correct one is simply "he". However, if you want to be extra inclusive, I guess it's okay to include it. I, personally, just say "he".
5) These + plual, This + singular

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