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제목 | sports | 등록일 | 2014-06-20 |
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내용 | I love going to watch sports games. Especially, I like to watch soccer matches. After I met my husband. I attended my first soccer game for our date. He received 2 tickets to the Korean soccer league game from his company. We attended the soccer game. We didn't dressed up in red T-shirts, because it wasn't international game. My husband purchased some thunder sticks and some foods like chicken and beers It was the game against hyundai. During that game, the opposing team got many yellow cards and got a red card. Our team did really well in that game. It was so exciting to see my favorite player on the field. It was also very fun to be a part of the crowd. Our team fans were all cheering together as one and they made a lot of noise to cheer for our team. A lot of people in the crowd were screaming, some were crying tears of joy. I felt great to be a part of that historical sports event. |
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담당강사 | Philip | 등록일 | 2014-06-20 |
첨삭 내용 | I love going to watch sports games. -> I love watching sports games. Especially, I like to watch soccer matches. -> Good sentence After I met my husband. I attended my first soccer game for our date. -> After I meeting my husband, I attended my first soccer game for our date. He received 2 tickets to the Korean soccer league game from his company. -> Good sentence We attended the soccer game. -> Good sentence We didn't dressed up in red T-shirts, because it wasn't international game. -> Good sentence My husband purchased some thunder sticks and some foods like chicken and beers -> Good sentence It was the game against Hyundai. -> Good sentence During that game, the opposing team got many yellow cards and got a red card. -> During that game, the opposing team got lots of yellow cards and also a red card. Our team did really well in that game. -> Good sentence It was so exciting to see my favorite player on the field. -> Good sentence. It was also very fun to be a part of the crowd. -> Good sentence Our team fans were all cheering together as one and they made a lot of noise to cheer for our team. -> Our team's fans were all cheering together as one and they made a lot of noises to cheer for our team. A lot of people in the crowd were screaming, some were crying tears of joy. -> A lot of people in the crowd were screaming, some were even crying tears of joy. I felt great to be a part of that historical sports event. -> Good sentence
====================================================================== Hello Lisa, Thanks for the wonderful job with this composition. You were able to improve and at the same time instert good vocabularies into your answers. I also like watching sports because I am a lazy person. But despite that my attention span has become shorter in the past few years thanks to Facebook and Twitter. Anyways, happy Friday! Teacher Philip |