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제목 | Watching sports | 등록일 | 2014-06-23 |
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내용 | I love going to watch sports games. Especially, I like to watch baseball matches. When I was in elementary school, I attended my first baseball game with my father. at that time, Hanwha Eagles Baseball Team was based in my hometown. so, naturally I cheered up Hanwha Eagles Baseball Team. Because I was so young, I didn’t the rule of the baseball, but I felt the passion for winning our team. also It was very fun to be a part of the crowd. When our batter hit an amazing home-run in the 9th inning, I was very exciting! It was an unforgettable game watching experience. |
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담당강사 | Don | 등록일 | 2014-10-21 |
첨삭 내용 | I love going to watch sports games. Especially, I like to watch baseball matches. -> I love watching sports games especially baseball matches. (Remove "going to" since you're stating a fact.) When I was in elementary school, I attended my first baseball game with my father. (Good sentence) at that time, Hanwha Eagles Baseball Team was based in my hometown. so, naturally I cheered up Hanwha Eagles Baseball Team. -> That time, Hanwha Eagles Baseball Team was based in my hometown so naturally I cheered for Hanwha Eagles Baseball Team. (Remove AT at the beginning of your sentence as well as period and comma before and after SO.) Because I was so young, I didn’t the rule of the baseball, but I felt the passion for winning our team. -> Because I was so young, I didn’t know the rule of also It was very fun to be a part of the crowd. -> It was also very fun to be When our batter hit an amazing home-run in the 9th inning, I was very exciting! -> When our batter hit an amazing home-run in the 9th inning, I was very excited! (Use EXCITED rather than EXCITING since you're describing yourself and not the game.) It was an unforgettable game watching experience. (Good sentence) |