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제목 Family 등록일 2014-07-10
내용 My family consists of three family members. My father, my mother and me. Plus, my puppy Babie. But, she passed away this Feb. My father has done a kind of business. However, I don’t know exactly what his business is. Because his business frequently change. I’m not sure what he does business now. I guess he does business about marketing. I saw that he read a marketing book. He is like my friend. We just kid with each other. My mother works at the department store. Also she is a housewife at home. I have thought that she was a Wonder woman. But as she grew older, she got exhausted. So I usually help her house chores. She is very diligent and premeditated. She always tells me that I have to be diligent when I do everything. She’s my role model. I admire her for her mind and energetic action to daily life. Actually two cousins consist of my family members. Their school is far from their own home. They live in my house. They aren’t my real siblings but we are close with each other.
담당강사 Chloe1 등록일 2014-07-10
첨삭 내용

Hi there Jake! Thank you for always writing stories about different topics. Here are your corrections. ^_^

 

We are three in the family. My father, my mother and me. Plus, my puppy Babie. But she passed away last Feb. My father has his own business. However, I don’t know exactly what his business is because it frequently changes. I’m not sure what his business is right now. I guess his business is about marketing. I saw him while he was reading a marketing book. He is like my friend. We crack jokes with each other. My mother works at the department store. Also, she is a housewife at home. I thought that she was a Wonder woman, but as she grew older, she got exhausted. So I usually help her in doing household chores. She is very diligent and pre-meditated. She always tells me that I have to be diligent when I do everything. She’s my role model. I admire her for her intelligence and energetic actions in her daily life. My 2 cousins are now part of our family. Their school is far from their own home. They live in my house. They aren’t my real siblings, but we are close with each other.

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