"I like to listen music when I have free time, especially K-pop. Every week live music programs broadcast at each major Channel. On weekends before going to appointment I watch TV show performing K-pop singers with wearing clothes. If my favorites singers come up, I stop to put on clothes. And I concentrate on a performance. Even if these days so many idol groups show up, I can distiguish them. I am big fan of K-pop musicians."

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I like to listen music when I have free time, especially K-pop. Every week live music programs broadcast at each major Channel. On weekends before going to appointment I watch TV show performing K-pop singers with wearing clothes. If my favorites singers come up, I stop to put on clothes. And I concentrate on a performance. Even if these days so many idol groups show up, I can distiguish them. I am big fan of K-pop musicians.

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I like to listen to music especially K-pop on my free time. Live concerts are being aired on TV every week. Before I go to my appointments, I watch TV while putting on my clothes. When my favorite singer comes up on stage, I stop putting on my clothes and concentrate on his/her performance. I am updated with new singers and group being formed these days because I am a big fan of K-pop.

Notes:
Red - capitalization
Blue - additional and better expressions
Green - prepositions and pronouns

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Hi Mr. Won,

I am very happy with your performances. You are trying your best to improve your communication skills. You are knowledgeabe with a relaxing learning style. You make learning easy and enjoyable. Kindly work on with the highlighted words and sentences. Have a nice day!

Love,
Teacher Angel

"Good, better, best. Never let it rest 'till your good is better and your better is best!"